Tried searching but couldn't find a clear up-to-date answer, so here we are. Sending the first message on Bumble instead of waiting changes the dynamic for the better.
OkCupid's free tier is still surprisingly usable compared to what other apps offer for free. Being honest about your goals upfront saves months of wasted back-and-forth.
Tinder Gold is arguably the biggest ripoff in app history. The free version works with patience.