This has been on my mind for a while and I couldn't find a clear answer anywhere else. Discord servers are surprisingly active for adult chat but the good ones require some vetting to get into.
I always use a separate browser profile for any adult platform just to keep things compartmentalized. Anonymous chat is mostly an illusion unless you're running through a trustworthy VPN and using a burner.
Real-time deletion features are more common now and they do help with peace of mind.